My blog is dead than ever. The fact is sometimes i don't have the guts to face my thoughts. Nah, i just wanna hide myself where no one can find hehehehhe ;P

lemme share one lovely thingy ♥

 this dress is so pretty and i like it so much. 

THIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS MUCH.

so far i can't find any in msia, this sucks.

but the good thing is i could get it online.

which means i can't even try and see whether it fits me or not, more sucks. 

i wish everyone is doing great in this CNY break like i do. :D

hola!

I'm bloody lazy to update my blog, like seriously. SUPER DUPER LAZY because I don't know what to update so far. Actually it's a lot, October happened to be my happiest and busiest month but it's so damn troublesome for me to sign in here. Sooo... miss me? ;p

HANG ON, I'M HAVING MY MID-TERM NOW. 

I PROMISE I'LL UPDATE THIS ASAP! I PROMISE!

TEMPTATION IS HARD TO RESIST. I MUST HAVE SELF-CONTROL.

till then.

see ya.

This is going to be a short post.


First, it feels weird. people still do like to judge me like as if they know what happened to me & they know me very well. please don't. you just make a big fool out of yourself. seriously, if you don't know any shit, please just shut up and don't make any judgments. um well, i cannot control the mindset but i guess what i need to do is just stand still in my own position. it's quite important to know how to play the game, right?  


Second, i hate gossips. Any questions, ask me and i'll tell you. 


Third, hello Shanghai and bye-bye Malaysia. Mixed feelings within, i wanted to go back there asap and end my study, meanwhile i dont think this 1.5 year left is enough for me to learn what i want. and.. yet i haven't got my luggage packed. 


Lastly, i think im going to miss you so so much, it feels so good talking to someone i do not have to pretend to be or be cautious of. *wink wink* Dearest you know what, i'm really really proud of you. hugss.  

oh, what a silent night

sometimes, i really wonder, am i right or i just simply screw things up by keeping in touch with a long-time-no-see-friend? i mean, i just want us to be friends, but not more than coz we haven't met each other for years. but then the worst things is when you just tryna be friendly people might think you're delivering something different. i hate texts like "how's your day?" "have you had yr lunch?" "why're you not replying me?!" and I'M DONE! I wonder is it interesting enough to poke your nose into people's business, like everyday?! I seriously swear that nobody will believe that these texts are exist between normal friends. The thing is i feel guilty for not replying, and i don't know how to do. please, i don't want to lose a friend anymore. don't know how to describe that feeling -.- i know ignoring peoples and the texts even calls is like bullshit, sucks to the max.


dear universe/god,
i just want this chance to make things right.
give me this one more chance :)
thank you.

pretty ;)

by the way, the dress that i want to buy is out of stock!! :'<
hate you all for buying away all that dress. aargh.
yeah i feel depressed recently.


ciaoz

It's better to be kind than to be right

Alright, i think this is another lengthy post again.


This quote is from Kevin Tan, the CEO of Sunway Pyramid and Sunway Group of Shopping Malls. Yeah that's right he was talking about Dharma in the Kechara House, a buddhist organisation located in Petaling Jaya. My sis goes there every Sunday for their youth Manjushri class. I just went there for thier adult talk coz i'm an adult already ;D. 


Okay back to the topic, i thought i was just attending an ordinary talk delivered by a random person inside the house, but then when i realised that within the audiences there's different field of persons like doctor, businessmen, or people from the kechara media and publication, frankly i was amazed. Kevin shared the spiritual quotient and how he applys dharma to the workplace, most importantly how to deal with office politics. But overall most inspirative throughout his talk is in Maslow's dying bed, he said that the hierarchy of needs should be inverted. If one has had the self-actualization, everything is no longer a big deal, including our physiological needs. (Somewhat this is true but i think without the food how can we acquire our enlightenment? Guess i've still got a long long way to go.) Still Kevin shared some "Dharma-tic" contribution he's done and the way he thinks live should be, not to dominated by "the three poisons" which are greed, hatred and delusion. No one can say that you're wrong if you were trying to be kind or benefit others. I was amused by the way he talked and how he deals with his staffs. i hope to have a boss like him lah. Kevin is such a successful businessman and a lovable husband and father. He brings his family along every week.


I don't think i could explain all the things i've heard in this blog. By the way, i was feeling good and overwhelming after that. And when i was waiting for sis, one lady (Mdm. Hunney) approached me, that time i was staring at one of the charts at the house. She was being enthusiastic and explained the Samsara to me, for 15 minutes perhaps. So now i know there're 6 realms we're being through continuously just that we're so fortunate to being in the human beings realm. Just to be kind and stop committing sins that could likely lead us to the animal or hungry ghost even the dreadful hell realms. 


All i can say that this Kechara Organisation is unique. They involved different fields of people and so familiar with the Sanskrit hymns, it's so so so original and i like it. This is the first time for me to attend an english based Buddhism event. i kinda love them. 


This is important: Of course i know religion is kinda sensitive, but these are just my personal views, i'm not a missionary. Take it easy guys :)

crap.

Holy crap, the long-gone feeling and my garnered experiences have been intruding myself these days. I seriously hoping that this is just a result from my everyday-slacking in the midst of my lovely summer break, causing me extremely free (not really) and think slightly beyond from ordinary views. It's like living at home, with parents who existed in a constant state of heightened paranoia about the increasingly dangerous place that Klang Valley (or Malaysia) had become. YEAH, I'm being PARANOIA. Praying hard and i seriously hope that. 

FYI, im back in Malaysia again. ;P everything is still the same except that the Bersih 2.0 fever and impact is still a hot issue, press and internet news are stuffed with them. It's a cool thing that i heard some of my friends are also involved inside. ;)

i have no idea how come i guffawed for so long. :D

my goodness

i am left behind
and have so much stuffs to catch up.

bloody hell

 i wonder if the blood circulating around our eyelids area 

is the MOST delicious part for mosquitoes

instead of others.

this is my proof.

>:O

bloody hell

like i was given a punch on my right eye.

that freaking irritating tiny little creature had caused my dermatologic allergy once again bugging me. hmph i curse you! i promise myself not to scratch the wound again. 

i hate titles >:O !!

okay, this is definitely not a tender post. im not gonna care how people will think of me and how will they feel like if i publish this post, just because yours truly are so done of everything. this is my blog i can ramble anything i like. yeah, im crazy. im psychotic. like i haven't been through enough this year. *on fire*
  
i've been learning how to deal with peoples and how should i lead myself to the best way of communicating. by the typical terms and conditions between people and not revealing all the thoughts of mine just in case conflicts would've getting worse. but SO WHAT? i ended up being the meat inside the burger between two breads. and the thing is these are NONE of my business. i just tried to be a good and responsible friend. as a hypothesis i'll make them A and B. A is kind of sentimental and B is like more straight forward and aggressive. i know their stand very well, some times i listened to both of them, acknowledged their doubts and trying to cool things down IF i could. but apparently i happened to become a professional listener somehow. 


so the story is, the A and B are still going against each other, i knew it very well. there's no right or wrong but just humans raised in different background, we couldn't blame each other for not accepting our own point of views even if u think yours is more reasonable or dominating. listen to others and to think with different perspectives are essential. so the meat, which means me, however, accidentally scraped by one of the bullets of theirs. today, after been through the exhaustion of the travels for lessons and hanging around for nothing, i could say that even a tiny simple lit of fire is pissing me off. i couldn't shoulder any straw already that was the last! stingy, i admit. always having the burning sense of being a pacifist but i just failed, once i decided to post this. 


but the fact is, 
i had fun all alone yesterday, got my longing stuff.
i had fun being a geek after the trip, sleeping and slacking like nobody's business.
i had fun during the 2D1N trip, took gazillion of photos.
i had fun shopping days ago with lovely roommate, splurged around like insane.
simple things could just easily enlighten my day. but,


this was just screwed me up.


i'll still be responsible for everything that i should do or help, still putting up a good front. 
i send my apologies if i need to. 
blame me if you'd like to. because yours truly are still suck at communicating and talking.


a lengthy post again. oh please, give me a break.




loves, jc.

random post again

i am not that easy to fool around.

=]

every time when i have the mood to blog i always don't know how to start. D: 

the webcam picture snapping program distracted me from my shitty history powerpoint presentation work. there you go, an annoying glance. heh :D 

sometimes it feels great when i take off my glasses, and see the world with vague vision. i get to feel something different. something which i think it is difficult to describe by words. for those who wear glasses, have a try then, but only under harmless condition for example there's no vehicles speeding beside you. =] as for those who have normal vision, all i can say is u guys are so damn lucky enough to have gifted a pair of healthy eyes. take good care of them.

that's all for this post. gonna continue with my powerpoint. D:

good night~